Thursday, October 27, 2016

Mails: B**tard Herrera should be more Santi

We asked and we received. A decent mailbox indeed. Keep them coming to theeditor@football365.com

Got to love the League Cup…
Is it just me or is everyone really enjoying the EFL cup this year?

All of the Prem teams undoubtedly have stronger, deeper squads than ever before meaning that when every team makes 8-11 changes to the team from the weekend there is genuine interest in every player that comes in and not too much of a drop in quality.

We’re getting much much more than Arsene’s U21 XI from a few years back or the perennial bench warmers being dragged from their perch to perform their best impressions of interested squad members. Players are all looking to impress and show they fit their managers systems – the promising youth product, the out of favour superstar or that tricksy summer signing you’ve been begging the manager to give more minutes.

I genuinely think they could be onto something if they tried to formalise it and really differentiate it from the FA Cup. A ‘B team cup’ where everybody must make eight changes from the weekend or where no player selected can have played more than 120 minutes across the last four league games?
Tom (CFC)

Herrera: Stop being a b**tard
It’s time to talk about Ander Herrera.

Firstly I’d like to say that he is a terrifically gifted player. He adds great balance to any United XI that he plays in. He’s tenacious, he’s smart, and he’s got a goal in him too. But what a little b**tard he is.

Not a game goes by where he doesn’t dive, make a meal of a tackle or cynically hack down an opposing player. Please just stop Ander. You can be very good at football without being a mini Diego Costa. Just look at Santi Cazorla. He’s just lovely, isn’t he?
Jake, Dundalk

Alas poor Henrikh
Mkhitaryan even looks like an after thought on the United team photo. Like they forgot about him and just stuck him on the end…

Manchester is Red! 🔴

Get your 2016/17 #MUFC squad photo wallpaper: https://t.co/UiEq6IEu0x pic.twitter.com/ZjOLhJnDpe

— Manchester United (@ManUtd) October 27, 2016

Kev The Clarke, MUFC (only releasing the team photo in the last week of October?!?) Skem

Worried about Henrikh
I wasn’t going to bother sending any nonsense about last night due to the fact that the game panned out exactly as the team sheets suggested it would do (thankfully!!).

However, is it now time for concern that we aren’t going to see Mkhitaryan giving any sort of a chance? Of the four signings we made in the summer, he was the one I was most looking forward to seeing as he seemed the answer to our static and one paced attack. Bundesliga Player of the Year is not something to be sniffed at.

I was reasonably comfortable given his fitness issues at the start of the season and further injury picked up on the international break. The derby performance seemed to be Mourniho’s cock-up for picking him when not fully fit for a game of that magnitude, in which he also picked up another injury. I figured a slow start when fully fit was the sensible option.

So what’s happened? This morning’s mailbox was full of missing Mkhitaryan missives and I am now beginning to panic. I think I may of been in denial but we seem to be witnessing the ruthless if misguided Jose freeze out in full effect __with the irony of Juanly Mata’s performances not lost on me.
Plato – MUFC (Schweini never stood a chance so doesn’t count)

Man United’s lost midfield
Quite something that United seem to have a completely exiled midfield that is potentially better than their first choice one.  Would love somebody to come in __with a combined bid for Mkhitaryan, Schneiderlin and Schweinsteiger and completely show United up with them. What we saying? £40-£45m for the lot?

Reckon Everton should swap Barkley for all three and Koeman can prove how much better than Mourinho he is.
KC (they’ll finish above United)

Jose out, the b**tard
Can I join the chorus of criticism of Jose please? I think he is a disgrace.

He misses his family? The b@$tard. Does he not understand that in modern society we demand to drag everyone’s life down to be a sh!t as it can be. I once had a hard job and had to spend time away from my family so he f&%king well should too! The b@astard.

Aside from him being a complete turd for wanting to spend time with his family, have you actually been watching United this season. The man has been in charge for 15 games. 15 games FFS. If you ignore the fantastic performances against Leicester, the very good ones against Stoke and Bournemouth, the useful performances against Fenerbache and Southampton and the way the team showed long lost resiliance and tactical awareness against Liverpool, then we have been awful 100% of the time. We were truly dreadful against Watford, City and Chelsea and our record of P15 W9 D2 L4 is disgusting. City’s record of P16 W10 D3 L3 is infiintely better with Pep in charge. I mean look at it – they are just brilliant in comparison. How has Jose not fixed this yet? He may have spent less money than City, but he has still had one entire transfer window and 15 games to sort everything out. He should have fixed it by now because, well, just because. The b@$tard.

And don’t get me started on his treatment of players. He has ruined more careers than hidden cameras. Back in the summer, I remember being told by all sorts of people, even in this parish, about the problems ahead.

Rashford? Well, he’s bollocksed. He never plays, Mourinho has ruined him. It is actually pretty disgusting what Mourinho has done to him. He’s only been involved in 12 games. 12 out of 15. What a scumbag Jose is. He has done exactly what we were told he would do. The b@$tard.

Then there are the rest of the kids. Mourinho never plays kids. Ever. Lingard? Yeah, sure, like he’ll play eight games! Fonsu-Mensah? He will not get one minute. Apart from the ones he does.

So lets move on to his behaviour, because we all know he will never change. He needs to, but he won’t. There is no chance he will change. Ever. I mean, so far he actually has – he even managed not to kick Pep in the balls – but the media, including the good people at F365, have explained to me that this change is proof – PROOF GODDAMMIT – that he is a spent force, useless, lacking in charisma and self-confidence. The b@$tard.

And did you read about Juan Mata? What Jose has done has been horrible. To be discarded like that before he has even played was pretty awful. He is a nice guy and has been playing well at United and then Jose just ups and sells him. Without giving him so much as 12 games to score a few goals and get a couple of assists. Jose – you b@$tard.

I can only assume he has a problem with Spanish players because it was disgusting what he was doing with Herrera. In August, it was common knowledge that Mourinho will never play him again. Ever. He just doesn’t rate him. I know he sees him every day in training, he understands what he wants from a player, he’s the person who has to both make the decisions and is in possession of the greatest amount of information to make that decision and therefore decide if a player is improving, but just what the actual funk has Herrera done to deserve his treatment? I mean, he’s only played 11 times so far this season. 11 times out of 15. Shocking.

Chalk up another career ruined by Jose. The b@$tard.

Now we have the same problem with Mkhitaryan, Schneiderlin and others. They will never play for United again. They should all leave in January. Because Jose will ruin their careers as well, just like he has for Rashford, Lingard, Fonsu-Mensah, Herrera and Mata. All while behaving like an absolute disgrace, playing god-awful football and losing pretty much every game.

When will the madness end? Jose Out. The b@$stard.
Andreas (stop all the nonsense, I want to get off) Hunter, St Albans

Why do you indulge bitter Liverpool fans?
Thank you Minty, LFC for your patronising email; it was refreshing to see a Liverpool fan have a balanced and fair view.

Maths isn’t your strong point though, is it? You’ve got two possible teams playing four possible line-ups and infinitely possible scorelines and you’ve come up with four outcomes? And United are losing in three of them?! You sir, are a bitter moron!

Why do you, F365, indulge such nonsense? Why have you printed a biased Liverpool fan’s view of United? They’ve literally formulated an opinion warped by bitterness and resentment! What could they possibly add to a debate? EVER? How could they possibly enlighten us?

Now, there is something that’s bugged me for a while and maybe Minty can shed some light on it (see what I did there): why do Liverpool fans kiss City’s proverbial behind? It is genuinely perplexing, Liverpool weren’t winning much before but Chelsea and then City made sure you most certainly weren’t! Abramovich built Liverpool’s coffin and the Sheikh hammered the f*cking nails in! These two clubs, City especially, are the sole reason you’ve won one League Cup in 10 years! Why would you support City?

I’ll end by returning your patronising sentiment, is it because they haven’t slipped on their f*cking arse every time they’ve mounted a challenge to United’s supremacy?
Anonymous (I’m missing a Micky I never had), Manchester

Guardiola, the innocent last born in the family
Following City’s humiliating 4-0 defeat to Barcelona much of the talk surrounded Bravo’s shocker, Messi magic and Guardiola’s ommission of Aguero. The least talked-about aspect to that game was Guardiola’s erroneous tactical set up which resulted in his side being swatted aside. Some did point out that Guardiola would have been better served opting for a more conservative approach considering the gulf in class between the two sides, but even then there was an outpouring of ‘respect’ from the media (and this mailbox) at how Guardiola “stuck to his principles” regardless. There was very little criticism levelled at him in comparison to other EPL managers.

Pardon me but isn’t playing one way, even when the situation warrants a change in approach, called being inflexible? I know very well that had it been a Mourinho or Wenger who had set his team up that way and lost 4-0 he would have been slaughtered by the media, but because it’s Guardiola (the bestest best manager in the world) we would rather irrationally choose to scour the earth for something to praise him about.

Minty LFC wrote in this morning displaying the same Guardiola pandering (albeit more subtle). Guardiola is on his worst run of
results ever and yet he still chose not to do the rational thing and go for the win last night. That’s nothing to be proud of and I find it baffling that Minty LFC ignored that obvious assessment of Guardiola’s approach to last night and rather went for an abstract conclusion like ‘it was clever for Guardiola to pick a weaker team’. It’s almost as if it was only Mou who was under pressure to win and not G’diola. After all, from a congested fixtures list including Liverpool away, Fenerbahce home, Chelsea away and City home, United won two, drew one and lost one. I’ll leave it to anyone reading this to recall City’s results in their past four games.

I would understand if they were playing a title contender on Saturday and thus didn’t want to risk their stars in anticipation of that fixture but their next game is West Bromwich Albion so surely the chance to remain in a cup competition would have been worth making fewer changes last night in order to win?

Pep is a brilliant manager and I fully expect him to challenge for the league title this season, he does not need us fans (and most pundits) constantly coddling him as though he is the cute little last born child in the family.
Buchule Fulanisi, Bloemfontein, South Africa (Herrera, what a guy!)

Spurs and their fowl press
Sorry, SpurOfSweden, the only thing wrong with describing Spurs’ system as a ‘foul press’ is the spelling – given their crest, the first word should really have a ‘w’. Anyway, 10 minutes of research shows me that, last season, Spurs ranked fourth in fouls per game (behind United, Palace and Watford) and third in yellow cards (behind Villa and Watford). Of the nine players in the league with nine or more yellow cards, they employ two of them, as well as Dele Alli. They also ranked third in successful tackles and third in possession, which helped them rank top in shots taken and second in goals scored, all while drawing zero red cards. ‘Foul press’ indeed – they are bloody good at it. There is definitely sexy football on offer at WHL, but let’s not pretend they don’t use the dark arts more than normal to support their efforts.
Tim

…I’m fairly certain Micki didn’t originate that theory about Poch’s tactics regarding sharing the fouls across the team…and I’m fairly certain he’s right. It is an element of Spurs’ game these last couple of seasons.

In fact I think it’s featured on a website not a million miles from here..? (Always wanted to say that on here).
Jon, Boston

Respect for Leicester please…
Whilst I whole-heartedly applaud Sarah Winterburn’s recent article on Southampton (‘Saints Alive..’), a club I admire greatly for their approach/philosphy and style of football maybe it’s time for the sly-digs towards Leicester to end (in there and ‘Eight weird Ballon d’Or nominations…’ etc.) please. We are the current Premier League Champions of a very similar size and history to the Saints (our grounds are virtually identical!) with a great Academy set-up, sports science department, transfer policy and above all team spirit! Oh and our owners (Sven aside) have been nothing but brilliant since taking over in 2010, is it because we ‘upset’ the big boys last year? If so ah diddums…
Ali, (loving the Champions League!) Leicester

Who doesn’t love an own goal?
It may not be that obscure, but I refuse to believe that anything will ever beat the majesty of Wayne Hatswell’s finish while playing for Forest Green against Morecambe in the 2000/2001 FA Cup. Admire in wonder the way he turns in the box, composes himself…then absolutely leathers the ball into the top corner! A truly wondrous footnote in the annals of OG history.

Jamie Bedwell, Cheltenhamshire
…On the subject of own goals who can forget this classic from Iain Dowie

Being at the other end of the ground for the match I remember complete confusion as to what had actually happened and to this day I’m still not sure what in his mind Dowie thought he was doing.
Simon, Stockport (now playing Division 6 teams rather than West Ham)

…On the topic of best OGs as suggested by KC in this morning’s mailbox, I’d like to suggest one from John-Arne Riise vs Luton Town back in 2008. Not the most spectacular OG you’ll ever see –

skip to the end of this video – but potential the most meaningful.

At the time my beloved Luton were on the bones of their arse financially, with the players having been unpaid for months on end due to some spectacular mismanagement and crooked owners lining their own pockets with the proceeds of player sales (shout out to Don Hutchinson who was apparently paying a couple of the younger lad’s mortgages out of his own pocket, top man). At the time we were still looking for a buyer for the club and there was serious talk that we might not be able to see the season out.

An FA Cup tie with Liverpool was seen as a distraction from a miserable league campaign and an opportunity to get a decent gate receipt, with no expectation of our team of youngsters and journeymen getting a result against a team full of internationals. From what I remember the game was pretty uneventful although a packed Kenilworth Road was rocking under the floodlights. Liverpool eventually took the lead through Peter Crouch but Riise then bundled the ball in to his own net a couple of minutes later to level it up, taking us to a replay at Anfield which ended up netting the Hatters about £500k. Enough to keep us afloat until a takeover was finalised a couple of months later, and despite the FA and Football League’s best efforts a couple of months later with the infamous 30 point deduction Luton are now thriving and about to move in to a new stadium in the heart of the town centre.

I challenge anyone to find an OG with more impact than keeping a football club alive!
Ryan King

…Surely this beauty from German World Cup winner Christoph Kramer has to be right up there.

Gladbach lost the game by his own goal to nil, something which I’m sure he’ll remember for the rest of his life.

Unlike the World Cup final which, despite starting, he has no recollection of after suffering a concussion during the game.

Some blokes really do not have any luck do they.
Bobby Hundreds

….Great topic! Personally there can be only one choice, the beautiful striker’s finish that was Santiago Virgini putting Saints 1-0 up on Sunderland in that famous match two short years ago. An 8-0 thumping of the Black Cats.

Everything about the goal, the defender’s body shape, his technique in connecting with the ball, was perfect. No cleaner finish was seen at St Mary’s all season. A goal of pure madness that only set the scene for something truly unbelievable.

Two other own goals in the same game, allegedly by Liam Bridcutt and Patrick van Aahnholt where mere scuffs on the line when the ball was clearly heading in anyway. Virgini’s was a true class apart!

Incidentally, if you haven’t seen Boufal’s goal from last night…well, what a highlight from an otherwise poor game.
Colin (Sorry Sunderland, there was a time when I considered you a bogey side of ours) Brown, Saints
…Here’s one from before football the EPL existed. Want to see Lee Dixon lob David Seaman from 30 yards? Course you do…

Locky

A palimdromic football career
Gwylim Lawrence, in yesterday afternoon’s mailbox, asks if any footballers have had a palindromic football career. Well, one very notable one has; 2004 Ballon d’Or winner and current Ukrainian national team manager Andrii Shevchenko, whose career trajectory is: Dynamo Kyiv – Milan – Chelsea – Milan – Dynamo Kyiv

Admittedly, the second Milan stint was on loan, but I think it still counts.
Dara O’Reilly, London

It’s not really about football, but…
…I just wanted to sign off an e-mail with
Terence Trent, Derby